Thursday, August 23, 2012

battle.

If you have been following this blog long enough, you know that I have been on a weight loss journey after having Hudson. As I've said before, the weight literally fell off after I left the hospital, it was a piece of cake...until Hudson turned about 6 months old, I was done nursing, and the weight slowly crept back into my life. yuck. I've been researching and learning, boot camping and cleansing. Boot camp is the only thing that has "slightly" worked...even running and training for my "runs" has done nothing for that number on the scale. I have always been a bigger boned person, and that is totally fine with me...I've learned to deal with it, and be happy with my body. I will never be a size 2 or a size 6 for that matter, but that number on the scale is terrifying to me. This can not be my reality.
But it is right now.
I've been working my little bootie off to try and get some results, and I've hit a rut. I can tell you the exact reason too...you see, I have the exact opposite problem that most people that are trying to lose weight have...I actually don't eat enough.
[I promise, I do not have an eating disorder, now calm down.]
 
I've always had jobs that pretty much don't give me the chance to eat. I know that sounds silly, but while working as a CNA through high school and another through college- "meal time" for my residents was not a time for me to eat...so I didn't. When I finished assisting school & started working as a pediatric dental assistant [oh you didn't know that? yeah, chalk that up on "things you didn't know about me, and now you do"] there was absolutely no time for "snacks" and if a patient came in, or ran into my lunch hour, I didn't get a lunch. And now that I'm a mom, eating has become like 10928109284 on the priority list.
I've gotten in a pattern that's been a struggle to get out of it.
I can not even begin to tell you how many trainers or doctors have told me this. It's something I have struggled with ever since college, and trust me, it's not because I don't like food. I love food. All kinds of food. I love to cook. I love to bake. I love to eat. But when I sit down and count calories, or write down what I ate that day, I'm always sitting at about 700-900 [on a good day] calories...for the entire day. I then run into the problem that I work out... especially boot camp days, I work out hard, so although I'm sitting at 700-900 calories, I burn about 400-500 of those, which then means anything I eat, my body stores to try and get out of starvation mode.
Clearly, when you do the math...it just doesnt add up.
I never really thought it was a problem...but then again, I've never had or tried to lose weight.

Some may think that this would be the easiest thing to change...but I can tell you, that is false.
This is something that I have to work on...daily.
It's something that my husband has to remind me to do.
It's a process of writing down exactly what I eat, when I eat it so at the end of the day I can know if it was a good day or a bad day.
It's something that I haven't been able to do alone, so I've started doing things that will make me accountable at the end of the day, like writing this post.
It's one thing to think about it, talk to someone about it, but once it's out there for the public to read, it seems to change something in my head, knowing that there are hundreds of you reading and now knowing.

So with that said this is my battle.
I now get to eat some food, for what feels like all day long.
Any quick snack ideas...send them my way!
Protein bars ideas...send them my way!
your support...I thank you for it!
motivation...you know where to send that!

I think that through any "journey" you go through, whether it be weight loss or not, it's the time that you really start finding out who you are. How strong you are. How weak you are...mental, emotionally, and physically.


 
 

10 comments:

  1. Try CrossFit. I have done about five classes now, and I can already see a difference. My daughter is 9 months and that baby weight is relentless no matter what I do... until now. It is tough, but it works.

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  2. I feel like weight is always a battle. I used to stress about it everyday, always weighing myself. I finally came to a point where I decided I need to be happy with myself, stopped weighing myself everyday and I don't stress about it as much.

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  3. I'm following you now on GFC- love a follow back! Love for you to join us at Weekend Blog Walk this weekend- starting Friday at noon. http://www.athometake2.com

    Hope to see you there!
    Jessica @ At Home Take 2

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  4. i have the same problem girl! i go to the weight doctor and she tells me i cant lose weight because i dont eat enough. i usually sit around 300-500 calories a day. its been the same since high school. i just started a weight loss challenge/ journey and i am hoping that it will motivate me to get healthy!

    good luck girl!

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  5. Elise, here's a quick, easy & delicious snack...

    spread a good amount of hummus (your choice) on 1/2 of a sandwich thin and top with thinly sliced cucumbers & carrots

    Also, lots of fruits/berries in the morning!

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  6. There are so many quick snacks to take to help get your calories up, like john:and:aim suggested. Lara bars and a Chobani are my fave, quick, portable snacks right now.

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  7. This is why we were great roomies!! I have the same problem! Now that I'm breast feeding it feels impossible to keep up with the number of calories that I need to intake! In college I remember getting into bed and thinking hmm.../i dont think I ate anything today! :( I just never made it a priority. Now I have to! Good luck dear!

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  8. Hi! Visiting from the life of a not so ordinary wife after seeing her chalkboard sponsor post. I too am s fellow dental assistant. Although I never did pediatrics dentistry. Cute blog! New follower!

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  9. I struggle with weight too, but not for the same reasons. My weight came off quickly after my second but after I stopped nursing it came right back on. Sadly, I am at my heaviest I have ever been now and it has become harder and harder to lose the older I have gotten. My problem is I mindlessly snack...even on healthy stuff. I just overeat and am not active enough.

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  10. Geesh, can I so relate! My weight was literally gone as soon as my daughter exited my womb! No joke! Although, I was overweight before I got pregnant....I only lost the 21 pounds I had gained while pregnant, but nothing extra. Sigh. I have been battling with my weight for so long. I cannot seem to get a handle on it. I have tried many different tactics...and nothing seems to work.

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I love reading every single one of your comments!