Once I took my blog from private to public a few months ago [after 2 years!], one of the very first posts I had published was one of the hardest for me to write. [you can read it here.] It talked about my struggle with "baby" weight, something I never talked about...out loud...ever, especially after Hudson was born. It took me a good 2 weeks to actually push the publish button, and once I did, I stayed away from my computer for days. I felt that people would judge me, write nasty comments, or even look at me in a different way. I was terrified.
I talked myself into opening my computer a few days later, and was so shocked and surprised by the responses, comments, and emails I had received of which are still saved to this day, for motivation and encouragement, when things get tough.
I lost about 10lbs shortly after and felt like I was on the right track.
I completed my very first 5k [color run Denver!] three months later, and felt on top of the world!
I felt like a freakin' rock star to be honest!
Ever since, I have felt like I've been in a rut. Nothing has seemed to be enough. I haven't been seeing the results that I've been expecting and wanted. I've been extremely hard on myself the past few months, and just haven't been able to shake the feeling...of not feeling. Covering everything up, making jokes, and really being the only person that knows how truly unhappy I have been.
While Kalob cuts out bread for a week and loses ten pounds, I gain twenty pounds just by getting up in the morning...[okay, not really, but that's how some days feel!]
So after discussing how I was really feeling about myself [finally] with Kalob one night with an extreme emotional breakdown, I decided that I needed a swift kick in the butt, and I needed something extreme. And when I say extreme...I mean
body boot camp!
and here we are six days later...
I have just completed my second session of boot camp,
which happened to be LEGS...
and can I please just tell you,
I almost had to ask for help to stand up from going pee!
As much as my legs still feel like jello, I can't remember the last time
I have felt this good about something.
I am so extremely excited for this new opportunity,
this new time in my life, and what this is going to mean for the future.
I am a fixer. But it seems that I have forgotten to fix myself.
I went to my yearly GYN appointment last week and was terrified to step on the scale. More eyes on that dreaded number besides me?! After days of anxiety, I had to do it.
My doctor says I'm healthy. My blood pressure is awesome.
[in her words: "I think it's time for Hudson to be a big brother!"]
Everything on paper looks great.
My stats look wonderful...but I don't feel wonderful.
I want that feeling back!
WHO'S WITH ME?!
I went to my yearly GYN appointment last week and was terrified to step on the scale. More eyes on that dreaded number besides me?! After days of anxiety, I had to do it.
My doctor says I'm healthy. My blood pressure is awesome.
[in her words: "I think it's time for Hudson to be a big brother!"]
Everything on paper looks great.
My stats look wonderful...but I don't feel wonderful.
I want that feeling back!
WHO'S WITH ME?!
Have you had any success stories?!
Ideas to help you stay motivated?!
Send them my way!
and something I'm trying to remember...
and something I'm trying to remember...
I love you and think you are so amazing! We have to remember that we aren't perfect and that we will have slumps. That's why it's always good to remember those times we felt so amazing...so we know we can get there and we know how great we felt and we we know that's where we want to be. I think you look amazing and you are still motivation for me!
ReplyDeleteElise, you look great but if you want motivation we should do another race. For me, I've found that if I'm motivated to exercise to lose weight, I'll find an excuse not to. If I'm motivated to get faster or go longer because I'm conditioning for a race, I stay motivated.
ReplyDeleteOh Elise! Reading this post just brought back the flood of memories of trying to do Yoga Booty Ballet but getting a better ab workout because we were laughing so hard! :) You've always been my motivation...maybe I should just move back- then we can be each other's motivation!? I'm about to jump on the baby weight bandwagon (in a few weeks when I get the go ahead! lol) So maybe we can motivate from a distance!? :) LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteI ran into your blog a little bit ago, and immediately put your link in my loved blogs, and have been frequently visiting it ever since! Figured I should say "hello" now and tell you I just love reading your posts! :) First off, I think you look great and are beautiful! But I definitely understand the feelings that come with our body image, especially after having my first baby about 9 months ago, and I love how honest and open you are with your feelings. I think it's awesome you've gotten involved in some kick butt, body boot camp! ;) Since my baby was about 8 weeks old, I found Stroller Strides & highly recommend it (you can do a search for it online...maybe they have one nearby where you live?) Anyway, it is awesome because you can work out with your kiddos, and have some motivation and help from fellow mamas! Those types of classes are always great, supportive, and motivating. I think it's always great to hear from other motivated and motivating mamas! And since we don't live by each other, I guess we can motivate each other through our blogs :) <3 You're a beautiful mama!
ReplyDeleteHi Elise, I understand where you are coming from. Try not to beat yourself up over it, you are healthy and time and discipline will help you get where you need to be. It is so hard and frustrating, but you can do it! But nothing no one says will help to fix the problem because it lies within, I know this first hand. So good luck to you xoxo
ReplyDelete